Premiere | Izzy Heltai – The Stranger You’ve Become

Through his debut album, Father (out 9 Oct), Izzy Heltai observes human relationships from dawn to dusk. There’s a special focus on what’s in-between the beginning and end, where the sinew of these complex bonds are woven. It’s a lot to take in for the 23-year-old artist, but his intimate interest in the topic at-hand makes for a precocious songwriter developing informed, heartfelt Americana. Releasing tomorrow (31 July), “The Stranger You’ve Become” is a perfect encapsulation of the heartfelt essence that makes Heltai’s work so compelling. Developing the song’s message was a cerebral process, as he attests in a statement to For Folk’s Sake.

At 7pm CST, Heltai will be perform an in-the-round at 7pm with Falcon Ridge via Twitch.

Heltai says:

When you feel like you intimately know someone – until you realize you never did. 

An honest, kind, genuine person generally believes their interpretation of a world at face value. The majority of us choose to engage in the realities of other people with the best of intentions, not wanting to deceive. We aren’t faced day to day with the reality of how malleable our words and truths can actually be. 

Our realities are just collectively agreed-upon terms, rules, and conditions. The fact that I can look at a rubber duck, point to it, and claim that it is a rubber duck is only possible because we have all agreed that that is in fact what the physical object is.  

But what happens if someone comes along, points at that same object and tells you with absolute certainty that you’re wrong, and that object is indeed a hat? If no one else is there to tell you otherwise, who are you to believe that your interpretation of this object is based in more truth then theirs? 

This situation is commonly coined as “gaslighting,” a term originated from the 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton titled Gaslight. A quick Google search and brief skimming of the Wikipedia page will yield this synopsis: 

“The play’s title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home, while pretending nothing has changed, in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions.” 

When you’re intimately involved with someone, it is often difficult or nearly impossible to identify when this is happening. When you finally get out, it can be earth-shattering. The idea that you’ve been with a stranger, that you’ve been tricked. It’s a type of trust that can be extremely difficult to recultivate. 

“The Stranger You’ve Become”

Get off your phone 

Get off this park bench 

Get out the road 

She’s coming to drive you mad 

And if you go home 

Tell her it’s all you have 

But it’s too much 

And you should know that 

I never wanted you to change 

I want my friend back 

And not the stranger you became 

And I just don’t know if 

I can stay here 

Everyday 

You’ve been fighting with yourself again 

And I blame myself again 

Crash your old car 

Into a snowbank 

Get out your guitar 

It’s time that you sang that song 

You wrote her last fall 

When winter was just a distant dream 

And you should know that 

I never wanted you to change 

I want my friend back 

And not the stranger you became 

And I just don’t know if 

I can stay here 

Everyday 

You’ve been fighting with yourself again 

And I blame myself again 

Again 

Maybe this time we’ll figure this out 

Thought I 

Could stand there 

And be your solid ground 

But I’m cracking 

And I  

Don’t know what to do 

Tell me we’re fine 

Tell me it’s alright 

That we’re gonna try 

But you’re getting much too tired 

To figure this out 

And I can feel it in your face again 

Your patience wearing thin 

I’m being 

Sensitive 

Words by: Jonathan Frahm